Every day at MyWorkSearch we help thousands of people with their career choices. Whilst this is a serious business that fundamentally affects people’s lives there are occasions when we look at the light-hearted side of our profession. So on a quiet Friday afternoon and with the media dominated by the election, the MyWorkSearch team started thinking about what careers politicians could try should they not be an MP on May 7th.
The Prime Minister would be a perfect Community Diversity Officer, having successfully placated Gillian Duffy, the pensioner he branded a ‘bigot’ earlier in the week, whilst David Cameron, with his liking for (public sector) cuts and love of the outdoors would make an ideal butcher. Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, who likes putting a spanner in the works, is recommended to try his hand at plumbing should things not work out for him next Thursday. We also felt that the original ‘Blair Babe’, Jacqui Smith, would make an ideal Ann Summer’s party organiser, George Osborne an estate agent and Vince Cable, used to playing second fiddle, would be an ideal second-hand car salesman. Perhaps unsurprisingly, BNP leader Nick Griffin, who is used to being abused in public, would make a perfect traffic warden should he not be elected to parliament.
Having searched though 12 politicians’ profiles, our full list of recommendations is as follows:
| POLITICIAN & CONSTITUENCY | SKILLS,EXPERIENCE, PERSONALITY | IDEAL JOB |
|
Gordon Brown, Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath |
Likes meeting members of the public, not afraid to express his views, champion of minorities (especially Eastern Europeans) | Community Diversity Officer |
|
David Cameron, Witney |
Member of the ‘Bullingdon’ club, likes making cuts, enjoys running outdoors, wants to ‘beef up’ national security | Organic butcher |
| Nick Clegg, Sheffield Hallam | ‘Man of the people’, likes putting a spanner in the works | Plumber |
| Jacqui Smith, Redditch | Original ‘Blair Babe’, knowledge of education, detention and sex laws, husband enjoys adult films | Anne Summers Party Organiser |
| Vince Cable, Twickenham | Experienced orator, good with numbers, used to playing second fiddle | Second-hand car salesman |
| George Osborne, Tatton | Used to making predictions on the economy, intricate knowledge of mortgages having been investigated over his repayments by the PSC | Estate Agent |
| John Prescott, Hull East (Standing down in 2010) | Likes fast cars, knowledge of self-defence, experience of being a deputy | Police Chief |
| David Miliband, South Shields | Expert in foreign etiquette, known for charm, used to waiting (in line to become next Labour leader) | Concierge |
|
William Hague, Richmond (Yorks) |
Known for comic wit during PMQs, experience of TV presenting, preceded David Cameron, boasts 14 pint minimum |
Warm-up comedian |
| Ed Balls, Morley and Outwood | Reputed for being aggressive & ambitious with a treasury background. Once called the ‘most powerful unelected person in Britain’ as a civil servant | Bailiff |
|
Lembit Opik, Montgomeryshire |
Rated most liberal MP in parliament, known for liking twosomes |
Erotic fiction writer |
| Nick Griffin, Barking | Cambridge graduate with good writing skills, likes uniforms, used to daily abuse from the public | Traffic Warden |
Just because you’re out of a job doesn’t mean you don’t have skills that can be employed usefully elsewhere. Our list of alternative jobs for MP’s demonstrates this and we hope that come May 7th, if any of these MP’s do need further career advice then MyWorkSearch can help them in this search.
Have a great bank holiday and normal serious service resumes on Tuesday!
Richard
Early in my career I stumbled into running my own business and have spent the subsequent twenty years running various small companies.
Brilliant blog Richard! Obviously missed your true vocation as a stand up comic! Not really sure how I missed this entry at the time.
Jason Perry
http://blog.jasonperry.org